My Dad and I were watching your movie, “Castaway” tonight. We think it’s funny you were having so much trouble finding some type of glue with which to fashion a raft. Why? Because, as my dad well knows, parrot shit sticks to hardwood like crazy glue and it’s waterproof. You’re on an island, where there are plenty of parrots. Get it together, man. On a personal note, what’s so bad about being on that island? I’d like to be there. There are plenty of fruits and nuts, and, I wouldn’t have to watch this idiot on all fours trying to scrub my poop off his floor.
Yours,
Charlie
